Waihi Mike's been around on the circuit a while. He was the guy filming Pusher a the 05 Nats. In case you are getting confused as there was 2 guys filming at the same time, Mike is the mean looking mother with heaps of tats. If ever on a roadie with Mike, never share a room with him - he suffers from an extreme flatulence condition, plus I think he's been to prison. But he does make a good breakfast. Here's his report (excuse his spelling).
//Psychic Mike's Predictions For the worlds:
As the worlds foremost coffee table psychic i felt i should share my premonitions on the upcoming 2006 worlds in Rotorua. At NZride they pride themselves on being up to date with all that is the latest in the DH scene. With the big event only weeks away, my visions have become very clear and i can now give detailed information about the nature of what is to happen at the worlds. No clothes were used during the writing of this article and some or all of the views below may contain traces of bullshit. Aaron the big cheese at NZride will be mistaken for kernel clink and rushed off for crimes against the bike industry. Waihi Mike will be airlifted back to the ocean after being mistaken for a stranded whale at the water jump. Byron and Hammer will be found running through the fields of clover naked, skipping and holding hands after ingesting too many black raisins found to be naturally growing in the paddocks surrounding the big event.Poor wee small Kai and his name tag, what a tragic ending to a beautiful life. After falling asleep on the job and the catering company mistaking his name tag for food. Kai was spit roasted and carved up to serve all the hungry athletes. From all accounts he tasted very good and was the pick of the platter being that he had zero fat content. Now lets begin with the NZ riders and where they will end up in the final results. Nz ride will have a huge following in the DH scene in the upcoming years due purely to being the worst spellers out in internet world. NZride the site for dyslexic DHer
JK‚s won the 05 National Champs on the course and will be a definite crowd favorite but will lose favor with the local police for excessive tire wear on the streets of Vegas. Where will he finish, 12th overall in the downhill and a finalist in the 4X.
Justin Leov has always dreamed of being an animal, but he just couldn't put his finger on which animal that was. In 2006 J-lo was found running wild in the bush, so it was only natural that he signed with the Yeti team and so the story of the yeti rehabilitation into mainstream racing continues. Sorry J Lo i see you coming in at 23rd with a couple of minor crashes.
Nathan Rankin was once lead astray by the sounds of pop off valves and putting new tweeter and woofers in his cars, he is back with 100% commitment for the worlds. With a new bike from 2stage bikes rolly will be forced into the lime light to do his best for both the bike and NZ. So much is the pressure for rolly that he will not even know that his team mate is missing. Will he handle the jandle, 6th and the fastest kiwi on the day.
Kieran had a shocker in 2004 and though he won 2005 he was devastated that he did not feature heavily in the pusher DVD, with crushed spirits he fled NZ in the winter of 2006 to seek psychological treatment from the foes team and will return to the worlds riding the all new Foes Prozac bike. Kieran is our dark horse and will take 9th place at the worlds backing up his Oceania's results.
Glenn finished the NZ 2006 season ranked 2nd and is one of the nicest guys around and great to have on the scene, but in a bizarre instants Glenn will be beamed up into a spaceship by aliens targeting new bike technology and will miss the worlds only to ride in the intergalactic anti gravity DH series where he is crowned the new inter- planet DH champ. Glenn returns next season with the all new Orgasmatron bike, where he finishes first in every race and is no longer the nice guy.
Tom Holland has spent the last few seasons in total confusion. After watching the painful drama on the pusher DVD of Tom turning up in morzine to ski instead of ride in the middle of summer might just prove to be his downfall. But in yet another bizarre twist, Tom is mistaken for David Hasslehoft and taken against his will to Hollywood to film the new night rider series.
Vanessa Quin will take the invasion of her shores seriously, having tasted the gold once before it has all but consumed her ( my precious). Having spent time off the bike due to injury she has bottled up all her energy for this one race, Vok will leave the others in her dust all for her precious gold.
Sam Blenkinsop is going to freak us all out in the U/19s and pick up a gold for his troubles.
Cameron Cole will also be in the medals in the U/19s for the downhill and will also make the top eight for 4X as well. One week after the big event Frodo will be launched into stardom when he presents his new personal perfume range for quiet chaos clothing which will sell out in the first week. "Man stink by Frodo" be quick before it sells out.
James Baron while not part of any team, James will be escorted from the big event for performing lude acts with a bicycle seat. One month later James becomes the star attraction for Man Power.
Psychic Mike's top five men and women MEN WOMEN
#1 Steve peat, because beer is good #1 Vanessa Quin, because she is obsessed
#2 Sam Hill, hate coming second #2 Sabrina Jonnier, tried her best.
#3 Greg Minnaar, moves to new Zealand #3 Tracy Moseley, maybe next year.
#4Nathan Rennie, jumps 200 ft on the water jump. #4 Fionn Griffiths, just outside the medals
#5 Cedric Gracia, will help Steve drink till they drop #5 Tara Llanes, better than coming last.
Have your say: Tell us who you think will win the worlds and be in to win some great prizes.
// CLICK IMAGE TO VIEW
Full length head cam run of the Rotorua '06 Worlds Course
(try right click and save target as)
//OTHER FEATURES
THE NZ RIDE "WORLD OF NZ DH" TEE
//LOOK COOL:
BE LIKE JAMES
[BARON]
GET YOURS NOW
If you're part of the NZ bike scene, chances are you're on there somewhere, if you're not, sorry, but buy one anyway!
Only $45, be quick act now first 50 callers get a free set of ginzu steak knives, but really, you will get an NZ RIDE sticker kit with your shirt. If you're too cheap to buy a shirt, hit up one of the crew for some free stickers anyway.
The 3rd birthday issue of NZMTBR is on sale 24th July. This monster 164
page issue includes the Official Programme for the World Champs with loads
of profiles, interviews, event schedules, maps and information about the
biggest week to hit NZ MTBing. Amongst the dozen or so interviews is one
with 2x World Champ, Fabien Barel and a chance to win one of two sets of
adidas goggles signed by the man himself . And check out the latest
subscription offer - $10,000 of 2007 SRAM product to be won - including the
new Avid Code brakes, Rockshox Argyle dirt jump forks and Rockshox Domain
freeride forks.
// Rotorua DH Course Headcam
See the roto '06 page for a Full length head cam run of the Rotorua '06 Worlds Course
// COMPETITIONS
Check out the competions page for regular give aways and stuff. At the moment we're running two seperate competitions to guess the fastest Kiwis and the fastest overall rider in the upcoming World Champs in Rotorua.
Watch out for our special feature on the Atherton family - coming up soon.
//NZ RIDERS
Wonder what our top riders are up to in the off season? Each month we do a round up of who’s where, doing what and bring you reports from Kiwis in every corner of the globe and back here at home.. [+]CLICK HERE
//INTERVIEWS:COMING UP
We’ve got some wicked interviews lined up in the next couple of months, so be sure to check back regularly for profiles on Steve Pete, Chris Kovarik, The Athertons, Sam Hill and many more…
